HUMOR: After the Tank, government to make these apps compulsory for JNU Students

Over the last couple of years, JNU has managed to garner a lot of interest from across the nation, with it becoming a recurring topic of debate on almost all prime time news channels, owing to what many termed as “anti-national activities”. To change this the government recently announced its plans to introduce a tank to the JNU campus, to instill nationalism in the students.

As a follow-up to this, the government has also decided to make some apps compulsory for all JNU students to further its initiative. These are some of the apps that are being suggested.

Narendra Modi App.

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With over ten million downloads-the NaMo app is the most popular app when it comes to a world leader. It’s been observed that there is a spike in the number of protests by JNU students when the Prime minister finds himself overseas, dealing with issues of key importance, promoting yoga, for instance. Now, these spikes are being seen as reactionary steps taken by students to cope with their longing for their Prime minister. To deal with this, the government has decided to come to make it compulsory for students to download the app- for them to deal with their emotions when the Prime minister is not around, and still feel his presence around them.

3D India Flag Live Wallpaper

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Nothing makes one’s chest swell, and fills one’s heart with the urge to thump it with pride than the Indian flag itself. To instill the much-required nationalism into the hearts of the students, department students seem to be lagging in, other than paying off their canteen bills. The government has come up with the strategy to fix this problem by making sure that the students see an image of the Indian flag every time they check their phones.  By ensuring that the Indian flag is the first thing they see in the morning and the last thing they see before going to bed, the government aims to achieve a two fold purpose- of instilling nationalism, while also saving large sums of taxpayer money by not installing a stratospheric flag(the top of which was also supposed to act as place where Delhiites could occasionally go to breathe) as per original plans.

IRCTC

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Patience is another area that government has found the JNU students to be lagging in. Students can often be seen engaging in heated debates on the campus premise; about the slow rate of change around them. Zeroing in on patience as another area of key importance for their overall growth, and to keep the undue aggression under the garb of intellectual debate in check. The government has decided to introduce booking Tatkal tickets on the app as a part of the curriculum. This, according to the government will be beneficial in incorporating the virtue of patience in student’s personalities.

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